2025-01-31 - It's All About Pants

[TXT to Dante] Rook: Dante this is important what is the skill to wearing striped pants without either looking like a clown or a beetlejuice knockoff when said pants can't have colors in them

[TXT to Dante] Rook: And if you answer is 'prayer' i'm legally allowed to put paint in your A/C

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Don't be silly, if God were inclined to help you out with this you wouldn't be needing to ask me

[TXT to Rook] Dante: and the answer is proportions, balance, and confidence

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Can the things you wear WITH the pants have colours in them?

[TXT to Dante] Rook: Yes. I also plan to not have them be uncolored for long. I have highlighters and friends with low impulse control.

[TXT to Dante] Rook: I can do confidence and balance, but the gods graced me with proportions best obscured by diner tables or control panels

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Oh this I like

[TXT to Rook] Dante: but

[TXT to Rook] Dante: you do know fabric markers exist right?

[TXT to Rook] Dante: And please. Proportions of the outfit, not the person

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Although tbh the person ones help too or models wouldn't all be 6'10" and 105lbs

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Balance also of the outfit. Unless you intend to wear stilts. Then both.

[TXT to Rook] Dante: But plenty of people get famous for looking great horizontal

[TXT to Dante] Rook: It's true, I missed my calling by living in a caravan and working in a tent for twelve years. I coulda made the beacoup bucks, baby. And I left my stilts in california

[TXT to Dante] Rook: wait new song title gotta write that down

[TXT to Dante] Rook: OKAY SO if i bring these pants over next week, can we get some proportion fixing going on? I got an in with that booth guard who bakes in her spare time on an entire box of macarons if she can use Stripes as a patrol buddy next week so trade you

[TXT to Rook] Dante: That song title sounds like you're planning to start a new music genre

[TXT to Rook] Dante: like

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Clowntry and Western

[TXT to Rook] Dante: And yes I can be bribed with macarons. If they're good.

[TXT to Rook] Dante: but it's not just proportions of the piece, it's the whole outfit. What's your apt?

[TXT to Dante] Rook: Oh i don't even have a rest of the outfit yet, but it'll be plain white, probably. Something else that can get ruined with paint

[TXT to Dante] Rook: That's right buddy I DON'T BELIEVE IN FABRIC MARKERS, THEY ARE A LIE BY BIG MARKER

[TXT to Rook] Dante: They're also paint. Or dye, for some. Just in marker form. BIG MARKER IS OUR FRIEND

[TXT to Rook] Dante: also the good ones work on black too

[TXT to Rook] Dante: And you can wash the pants without it all running so they don't end up standing up by themselves and no one will come within ten feet of you

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Anyway plain is generally the safest way to go, there

[TXT to Dante] Rook: Hol up are clothes not supposed to stand up by themselves

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Remind me not to come within ten feet of you

[TXT to Dante] Rook: I don't think it's a gross thing, I had to swap buildings a few weeks back and I think I have a fantasia situation going on

[TXT to Dante] Rook: pants walking by themselves, broom brushing, uuuh

[TXT to Dante] Rook: there goes my mug

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Are they trying to mop your kitchen yet?

[TXT to Dante] Rook: wait a minute hold on

[TXT to Dante] Rook: I wondered where my fishing line went.

[TXT to Dante] Rook: I WONDERED WHY THE BOYS WERE SO QUIET

[TXT to Rook] Dante: I assume it's not trying to mop your kitchen

[TXT to Dante] Rook: This was incredibly elaborate for two marsupials and I am somewhere concerned

[TXT to Dante] Rook: that the only vibe i'm getting off of the two of them

[TXT to Dante] Rook: is 'ask not about the two possums in a trenchcoat plan'

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Is the somewhere your apt? The somewhere I'm concerned is mine

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Also this is why cats

[TXT to Dante] Rook: *somewhat concerned

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Virgil would never do something like that

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Partly because he doesn't have thumbs and mostly because there's not enough in it for him

[TXT to Dante] Rook: and Virgil would raise hell if he had opposable thumbs

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Hell and the grocery bills for a start

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Sometimes it just hits me how weird this place is, like when I'm genuinely entertaining the idea that two possums rigged up your whole apt with fishing line to puppet your stuff as a prank

[TXT to Dante] Rook: They climbed up six storeys to deliver empanadas out of a backpack this week but fishing line pants puppetry is a bridge too far?

[TXT to Rook] Dante: First off they didn't deliver empanadas to ME, work on your theory of mind

[TXT to Rook] Dante: also on getting me empanadas

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Second yeah, fishing line pants puppetry is like an order of magnitude weirder

[TXT to Dante] Rook: Honestly? Fair. I think it would be balanced out if you saw the craftsmanship on this work. It's... adhoc at best. I believe they're taking my double shift I ran today and using it to their advantage.

[TXT to Dante] Rook: ANYWAY. I'm covering another shift in the morning but you hit me with a time you're free after like... 3 this weekend, I will bring pants, macarons, neither of tha bois, and I dunno, a semi suitable stopgap for what the rest of this outfit might look like. I get to look good, you get fed, I probably come back to my entire apt being turned into a game of mousetrap. Win Win Win

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Throw in empanadas and we have a deal

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Also if they do manage that I want to see it happen

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Especially if they find a plastic cage to drop on you. Big laundry basket maybe? Tell them to hit me up if they need ideas

[TXT to Rook] Dante: Sunday, 4pm, my place. See you, your pants, and your pastries then.