2025-03-26 - May We Offer You Pie In These Trying Times?

The day had been a rather normal one until it suddenly hadn't.

Out of nowhere, both Jett and Gabriel got a strange urge for pie. And not just any pie. ALL pie. Every. Single. Type. Thankfully Gabe's employee discount came in clutch cause that's a serious amount of pie. And it's now one that they're sharing with the rest of the folks on Crescent Beach.

There's a whole pie picnic set up on a long blanket. Varieties range from your standard banana cream, apple, blueberry, and rhubarb to the more niche options of chess, peanut butter coffee, chiffon, bumbleberry, and chicken pot pie solely because it was on special.

"Free pie!" Gabe calls out from where they're nursing their own chunky slice of rhubarb pie. They're not usually this personable but the compulsion is hitting hard right now.

Imagine two stoic emo types trying to give away pie!? Jett is over here in his uniform, because it was too important to get all the pie safely to the beach to factor in time to change out of it, very much sort of busking any of that pie to those who come close. He pulled out his own cash to try to cover some of the purchasing of pie and it probably put him in a tight situation financially... but he toted the whole 'You only live once' line that excuses the massive crisis going into debt via spending. He could absolutely not leave behind the cream pies either or the mud pie... MUD PIE. He definitely at least had a slice of that. But he will give it away, without any reluctance, and exclaim on the very nature of it's taste like he was some budding pie connoisseur!

"GABE. Did you taste the key lime pie!?" His eyes roll toward the heavens as he smells the little slice he fractioned off the much larger key lime pie, "Why have I never had this before?!" Of course there's a huge impulse to give it away but that sort of compulsion hits with his own nature to consume every damn piece of food that exists in his clutches. But he does his sales man tactic that can be seen on the midway, picking up the whole damn pie and moving toward the nearest person with a whole Vanna White showcasing of it, "Would you like some pie?" And when the person looks a little afraid of him well, he'll make some angles to small talk them and note, "It's from Nora's! It's the best pie on the island! Here, there's little plates! I'll get you one!" And the pie transaction is completed with a jab of an environmentally friendly wooden fork into the key lime pie.

"It's bullshit compared to key lime pie from the actual Keys," Gabe says, copping a whole ass attitude over pie like they're a Michelin Star reviewer. They pause, forkful of rhubarb deep in their mouth. Chew chew. Apologetic look sent Jett's way. "But it's not half bad?" To soften the comment, of course. Jett's over there doing a salesman pitch meanwhile Gabe's over here sitting on the blanket eating. They're in a black tee under the fleece-lined jean jacket they wear to work most days, black jeans and suede Chelsea boots.

To their credit, they do rear back their bleached blonde head to let out a call of "FREE PIE!" between every other bite. They're just more interested in actually trying some when the strange compulsion doesn't yank at them so fiercely. Which also happens to be every other bite. "This is wild," they add after a moment. "I've never wanted pie this much in my life. Something must be happening here but I don't know what. FREE PIE!"

"How the fuck would I know if it's bullshit?! It actually tastes really good!" Jett complains over the key lime pie that half walks away from the person he saleperson attacked into taking it. He looks mournfully at all the pie that is stretched out on the picnic blanket, "We have so much more to give away!" He's over animated, over stimulated, and is probably acting out of character in the moment. "PIE PIE MISS AMERICAN PIE!" Jett tries to mix up the lyrics as he slumps down onto the blanket, careful of the sand so not to dirty any of the divine pie. He side glances to Gabe though who is eating mouthful by mouthful of the rhubarb pie. Jett decides to stick a fork into the key lime pie and pull out a full sized slice because if Gabe is doing it then he can too. His white work pants are going to hate him in the morning if anything gets spilled!

He sits in a crossed-legged position and just starts mowing down into the slice. His own sales pitch follows after Gabe, "Every flavor! Taste the Pie Rainbow!" He is fully getting immersed into the key lime pie though and half lids his eyes in a 'OMFG' this is sooooooo good kind of expression. "Why wouldn't you want all the pie? It's like PIE OR DIE baby!"

"Too tart! It should be way less puckery when it's made with legit Key Limes," Gabe offers with a sweeter smile. They wave their fork at him. "Plus, you know cause I'm telling you. See? Now you know? FREE PIE. IT'S MID BUT IT'S FREE." Literally they should be fired from Nora's for this kind of slander. Jett's not the only one out of character here, Gabriel doesn't make it a habit of talking to strangers, less offering them free anything.

They watch Jett slink down onto the blanket and offer him a forkful of the rhubarb. "Try this one. It's actually my favorite at the diner." As for why they wouldn't want all the pie, "It's not that. It's whatever this feeling is? You don't have it? The urge? It's like when I used to wake up and want to paint before even having coffee." Which is kind of a big deal. "Haven't felt anything this strong since."

"I kind of like the puckery," Jett says with a crinkle of his face to show off the example of such an expression from a tart taste, perhaps too much on the 'sour' side of expressions as far as they go but the point is made. He rolls his eyes a little when told he knows because he's been told, "MID. MID PIE. MID FREE PIE." He laughs with one of those strange little barks of excitement that has him tilting back his head a little. Why he's laughing? Who the hell knows! He's also eating a crap ton of pie.

He leans over toward them when there's a forkful on offering. He does immediately snack down on it and pulls the bite off the fork with a slow mindful... okay... his expression sort of twists up a little, skewing sideways. Then a soft muffle out between the bites and his swallow, "Ew." PROBABLY because rhubarb is an all or nothing flavor; you either like it or you hate it. He makes a thin lipped grimace and shivers, to make his disgust absolute.

"I have the urge to ... give out all the pie," Jett confirms after his grossness factor has dissipated. He side eyes Gabe when they speak of painting. Has he seen them paint or do any sort of art? Jett hasn't brought it up, leaving it with the past in much ways as his own colored past. Then. Wait. BLINK. "You ... haven't had a strong urge for me? All this time..." CUTE JETT POUT.

"Then you'll wanna try that lemon meringue," Gabe points to the fluffy white and yellow pie on the blanked with their fork. "Tart as fuck." There's a shift of their utensil over to the chocolate cream loaded with cocoa shavings over the whipped peaks. "Hands off or I'll shiv you." The corners of their lips twitch into a smile. They're kidding. But maybe they're also not? "MID PIE!" Gabe offers a woman who walks by and actually laughs. Not the best salesperson over here.

They study Jett carefully as he leans over to bite off their fork, brows slowly creeping up as his expression shifts. Then that ew and Gabe can't help but let out a snort-giggle. "Good! More for me." Their taste in pie couldn't be more different but that doesn't stop Gabriel from swooping forward to kiss the corner of Jett's mouth with a loud smoooch sound.

"Me too but I'm also starving so one is superseding the other." No. Jett hasn't seen them do any art ever because they haven't bothered since getting here. His blink has them tipping their head to the side, awaiting whatever he's about to say. It does not disappoint. A grin sparks bright on their face before they actually burst out laughing. "WOW. First of all, shut up. Second of all, fishing much?" They make a grabby hand at him with the fingers not currently clutching the fork. "C'mere Coco Puff."

Jett's gaze swings toward the meringue pie pointed out, reaching for it, for the promised tart as fuck flavoring. He takes a fork full, like gigantic almost a half a piece fork full, not mindful at all of how that reduces the desirability of giving it out to anyone who passes because some rando took a random attack on it. He eats it with conviction and seems to be surprisingly impressed with the tartness, making a couple 'mmmms' to solidify the fact that he totally enjoys it. He could be playing it up, for Gabe's sake. The cream loaded pie though with cocoa shavings has him narrow his eyes at Gabe when they tell him to hands off or get the shiv; Jett wears such a calculated look after that remark that there will be pie robbery, it is inevitable. The bark of 'Mid Pie' has him smirk over at Gabe, "We can't leave until we give it all away." Or the alternative... they eat it.

Their snort-giggle to his ew doesn't provoke any secondary adjustments of his judgement to the pie. He gives it that 'ew' face and almost damn near scowls at the pie as if betrayed by the flavor. The scowl is removed the instant that Gabe pops forward to kiss the corner of his mouth, watching them pull back after the loud smooch sound. His eyes follow them, like a lost puppy or something, completely done in by them. MELTED. Maybe even forgetting the great pie robbery of the century which he was going to undertake a few moments ago.

The laughter that he gets from them has him smile against the desire to pout. It's hard to keep that pout in place against that pure freaking laugh and that bright expression on their face. Oh god he was so fucking done in by them. He does another quick sharp bark of a laugh in amusement for the retort, "Baby I only fish for you." The Coco Puff has him wonder, "Is that another spider?" Before he leans in toward the grabby hands and kisses Gabe back properly. OOPS. PDA.

Yeah okay so the lemon meringue is officially off the table for handing out but Gabriel doesn't seem bothered by it. They lift a slice of blueberry to a passerby on a skateboard, who actually takes it with a called out 'thanks' as they whizz by. Apparently SOME people don't question free food from other employees. It's then that Gabe notices that sus look on Jett's side in regards to the chocolate cream pie. "I mean it," they warn him, voice sharp. "I will shiv you. Boyfriend or not. I'll tell Kandinsky and Swayze that you had a tragic accident at the salt mines and they'll believe me."

And yet as much of a threat as that was, they can't help rolling their eyes fondly at him and his ew face. Jett can be incredibly expressive when he wants to be and this look of utter disgust is one of Gabe's favorites solely based on how toddler-coded it is. The smoochy smooch melts it and thankfully nukes any thoughts of Pie Robbery. Which is for the best.

"Yeah, I fucking know that," Gabe snaps playfully when Jett says he only fishes for them. They won't reveal if it's another spider like their other nickname for him, the rare Sparklemuffin. Instead, they lean into the PDA and wrap their non-pie-wielding arm around Jett's shoulders and give him a real kiss. Nothing chaste about that small swipe of tongue. But just as it gets going, they release him and push his shoulder back lightly, chuckling. "Go away, I'm trying to sell free pie here."

Jett watches the skateboarder whizz by; contrary to popular belief he does not know each and every person with a skateboard, though he watches with some mid-level respect regardless. He notes with some mild competitiveness behind his tone, "Just because it was a bigger piece doesn't mean that counts as two." Apparently he's counting? There's a scoreboard? Mentally! YES. Of course there's probably some sort of internal dialogue counter going on; he works in a games booth!! The sharpness he gets in turn for the chocolate cream pie is met with a thin lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes because his eyes go a little lowered in a slightly exasperated probably more mischievous bent. "I will come back as a ghost and haunt you," although he knows that probably won't bother them at all he says it, "And we can do pottery together. You'll love it."

Jett lifts an eyebrow with equal measure playfulness, "Then is your urge for me stronger than the pies? I got to know where I stack up against the chocolate cream..." He sort of snickers after saying that only because he's leaning in to get some PDA attention here. The kiss might actually be helping to break the urgency to sell pies! MIGHT... Might. He seems to linger on their lips even after he gets a push back, snorting at their sentiment. "How do you sell free pie...? No, you need to caress it out to them. Watch this."

He ooo ooo ooos with a wave of his arm gesturing toward someone passing by, "SIR." No response so he tries again, "SIR." There's perhaps a quick glance his way. "SIR!" More eye attention, "YES YOU SSSSIIIIIRRR! It's your lucky day! We're doing a taste test of Nora's pie! Would you like to try a sample!?!" And that... seems to get the person to pause. Jett says side ways like out of his mouth, "Who can resist a free sample, amIrite?!" The man comes over and asks for one of the peach pie slices and Jett happily seems to go about the peach cobbler pie and offering him a big slice. The man, who looks like some sort of driver, looks grateful and thanks them both before leaving on his way. "I'm such a pro," he ego's the fuck out of himself because that was probably not his best sales pitch ever, but the guy took a slice so that's like one down right?!

"Wait, you're counting?" Because Gabe is most assuredly not counting, letting the pie whims take them as they may. They glance down at the assortment still left of the blanket. It's an undertaking for sure but their gaze is quickly drawn back to Jett's face as he brings up haunting them. No, it doesn't really bother them, but before they can say as much, they huff out a laugh when the Other Swayze is invoked. "Okay I'm into that," they admit with a sly smile twisting up one side of their face.

Predictably, Gabe gives Jett a flat look as he keeps on fishing. "I'm not answering that since I'm pretty sure you already know." That they like him at least 12% more than chocolate cream pie. They're still somewhat at a closer distance even after having pushed him away, and need to lean sideways once Jett starts waving about. "What are you doi--"

This poor man. But at the same time, this is basically what Jett does for a living so Gabe isn't completely surprised. They bite back a smile and just watch it all unfold. The side commentary gets a bark of a laugh. And wouldn't you know it, another piece gets handed out. "Yoyoyoyoyoyo--" Gabe's quick to yell after him, stopping the man in his tracks. Very NYC hot dog seller there. "It's buy one get one free. Here." They shove a plate of rhubarb into his free hand and give him the ol' finger-guns. He shrugs and accepts both, then gets back on his way.

"That's called teamwork," Gabriel stage whispers at Jett.

"You aren't?" Jett asks with some sort of surprised wtf are you doing, or rather, aren't you doing look curling up on his features - it's very close to the ew look but with more lifted top lip and judgy brows furrowing. The expression doesn't stay however as they laugh at invoking the real Swayze. Their admission that they'd be in to it has him shoot both his eyebrows up, "I mean." He head tilts, "Until I'm dead you can like, turn ghost, and we can do it that way." It's an IDEA.

The flat look he receives is given to him long enough that he slams a fork into the chocolate cream pie and lifts it up, victoriously. Surprisingly though he doesn't drive it into his own mouth, he holds it out toward them. AWW. "How about when I'm feeding you chocolate pie?" He continues his fishing for compliments. Fish fish fish. AND THEN.. He's going to sell the pie as a sample.

The additional yoyoyo has Jett laughing now, saying in a low tone toward Gabe, "You sound like a ganger." He puts it out there because well, maybe he doesn't know what NYC hot dog sellers are like but he definitely knows what sketchy young adults on the street talk like! He watches as the guy takes the second pie and he snickers again at the finger guns. "What the hell was that?" He reaches over and poke at them with his own finger guns, not without laughing while he does it. It's that giggly sort of 'precious' sounding laugh from Jett. It's special. "Teamwork..." he sighs, "Shut up and eat." He punches another fork into the chocolate cream pie and holds it up for Gabe.

"Why would I?" Gabe sends a similar look right back to Jett-- brows lifted and nose scrunched in a reeeeallllly? sort of way. They're evenly matched when it comes to barely hiding displeasure. The look morphs into mildly withheld amusement. "Well I can't actually touch you in Ghost Mode so..." It's not exactly the same.

AND HERE THEY ARE, about to be an an impasse. Jett has dared fork the chocolate cream and Gabe's eyes narrow immediately as a result. For a split second it looks as if Gabriel means to start a war over pie but Jett opts to hold it out instead. To say they're surprised is an understatement. They know Jett's penchant for pushing buttons and this circumvents that. Whatever they look like they're going to say gets put on hold to sell free pie.

What the hell was that. Gabriel turns a cocky smirk back towards Jett. "Babe, that's called selling your mixtape on west 44th street. You gotta do what you gotta do." Unfortunately the arrogant expression doesn't last as they're getting POKED, which of course is like a major tickle trigger over here. They flinch sideways, giggling loudly before swatting at his hand. Jett's precious baby angel laugh isn't lost on them and it helps disarm them even more. "Alright I like you more than pie," they admit, only to get told to shut up and eat a moment after. It draws an outright cackle out of them as they snatch the chocolate cream pie out of his hands. "Yes, dear."