2025-06-13 - All Eyes On Me

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: [An image, self-taken: Zeph, clad in fairly summery style, with yellow trousers, a pure white shirt with no tie, and a sky-blue-plaid suit jacket with a pocket square that from a distance is a cheerful mix of white, yellow, and blue, and up rather close resolves into a pattern of rubber ducks. More unusally, he seems to have six plastic angel wings, arrayed in almost a star pattern, tied onto his back, and a plastic halo on a headband on his head. He's also fairly radiating glitter, and probably most notably to Herb, covered head to toe in googly eyes.]

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: This is either the park's thanks or its revenge.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Gurl you are an icon! Proof you can make anything look good. How's the wine

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Oh you wore the ducks again I see. Excellent choice

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: [After a few minutes:] This is the wine's fault. And not from poor life choices due to excess, either.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Well, the ducks were my fault. Thank you.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Aside from the side effects, the wine's not bad. I'd say you should come try some but you might end up a human glitterbomb, and your roommates probably don't deserve that.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: (Sends a selfie of being covered in rainbow body glitter tith a crop top that has a metallic sheen to it.)

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Too late. Club night tonight. Rome may kill me though Austin idk!

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Fair point.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: If you feel you need more, swing by the beach. Several of us are veritable founts of it right now.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: None of it rainbow, though. I'm not sure this magic is trying hard enough.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: If your glitter needs more colours I will find Stephanie and we'll hug you.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: idk if you got to meet Steph. she builds puppets for the parades. very fun to talk to. better at drunken charades

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: I don't think I've met Steph but I think I might like to. The large puppets?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Yes those!. Like Yarble and friends and the dancing trees.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Maybe

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: the trees might legit be Macbething us

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: If we don't have ruthless designs on power we're probably all right either way.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Witht he topiaries having their own mind rn I put nothing past the park

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Are you expecting them to come clubbing? And if so do you need actual clubs?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: omg this hasn't occurred to me we may need a bedazzled disco bat

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: not for any purpose but I do like to respect theme

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: How long do you have before you go?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: You mean how long until I go to the club or how many rounds can I go with a battling bush?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: I have done landscaping for a summer. the shrub will win

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: I mean how long until you go to the club, but it's healthy to have a handle on one's limitations.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: If you do end up in battle with one, I suggest fire.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: I know my limitations too, which is why I always carry a lighter.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: you carry a lighter because anything more would be heavier?

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Exactly. Same reason I don't carry around Dostoyevsky.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Well. That and he's long dead.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: No one likes dead weight. He really needs to start pitching in

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: To be fair, he did write Notes from Underground, which is more than most dead people have done.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: I couldn't even get my parents to write a birthday card so good for him!

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Really putting distant relatives to shame there

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: I'm told parents aren't supposed to qualify as distant relatives, but I have my doubts.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: When's your birthday?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: I'm a Libra. Oct 17 but not one of the obnoxiously orderly ones

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: I'm obnoxiously disorderly. I swear I'm like a closet Aquarius or something deep down

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: I'm fairly sure a closet Aquarius would lose you your deposit.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: And noted. Do you need a bedazzled disco bat?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: I think everyone needs one! 😃

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Baseball, cricket, nerf, or whiffle? What level of sparkly self-defense are we looking at? I assume we're not moving into puns, since mammalia as weaponry are pretty hit or miss.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Cricket sounds kind of sassy in that Dawn of the Dead way but I have no idea about the game and might give frat people the wrong idea

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Whiffle sounds useful. less heavy. Easier to hot glue things to

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: Somewhat less effective in self-defense, but easier to dance with.

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: Zeph does anything about me strike you as good in self-defense?

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: If I'm not going to win I'm going to fail upwards gloriously

[TXT to Zeph] Herb: I am very flattered it was a consideration though my esteem is boosted

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: In my experience losing a fight tends to involve failing downwards, at varying levels of gloriousness.

[TXT to Herb] Zeph: But I will accept we're probably both better off hoping if we throw the bat the sparkles will distract them, and running for it.