2025-09-06 - Employee Camping Trip: The Obstacle Course

Michael is dressed for competitive obstacle coursing today, from his black joggers and trail running shoes to his red long sleeved fitted t-shirt. It's red so he goes faster. He mills about with the other contestants gathering while some of the other security team members have taken over as judges and time keepers. He aims to participate in this one.

Asher is not an obstacle course kind of person. But there is a first aid station involved, and they are a staff one of those kind of person. They've got a purple camp chair, and their hand-painted sneakers shod feet are propped up on a log as a foot rest. They're wearing an old and faded Downtown Sasquatch tee shirt under a black sweater-knit blazer and a pair of pad-stitched motorcycle jeans, just in case they have to scurry a med kit up any ropes. They really hope that's not going to be needed though. There's a bottle of Peach Nehi in the cup holder dropped into the arm of their chair, and they have their phone out, tapping away ever so slowly at whatever is on the glowing screen.

Recognizing Michael from more than one trip to the other sides of portals, they lift the hand not holding their phone and shoot him a salute, calling over, "Good luck up there!"

Herb is also not an obstacle course person, but has had lots of practice navigating the disorder of other people's spaces during deliveries, and seems to be excited about this one. "Now that I'm detangles from the trees I feel like I'm ready for this. I will say flailing your legs and arms I think makes the zipline go faster." In case anyone else was going to go.

"Asheeeeeer ya made it. I didn't know we'd be seeing you. Michael, we did it, we climbed a tree and didn't fall off the damn thing. Banner day. Worked a little better than the trust fall exercise, but at least I warned people I am not trustworthy to catch shit unless it's me being a smooshed little pancake under you people."

Michael lifts a hand in salute to Asher and says, "Hold down the fort. Hopefully we won't need your services." He continues his warm-up as the other competitors get themselves settled. There are a few employees going for it -- one or two from security, unsurprisedly, and a couple from the circus aiming to put their acrobatics to the test. It's not a large group, but there's a general camaraderie.

"Hey," Michael says to Herb when he sees him approaching. "Making it both into and out of a tree successfully is .. good practice?" He chuckles just a bit and offers him a fist-bump. "You ready to do this thing?"

"Herbacious!" It's been a hot minute since she's seen the man she'd met at the butterflies, but he gets a bright grin as he calls their name. "You here with special deliveries for the victors, or just for the simple fun of it?" They're surprised that flailing helps. "Pro tip. I would have thought tiny balling it, like when ice skaters are spinning." As to not expecting to see them? "Couldn't let King have all the vacay fun."

There's a nod from Michael as he says to hold down the fort. "Pretty sure it's a low risk option. But, we've got chem ice packs and ace bandages just in case." Asher is fairly certain an obstacle course is going to be so much less risky than exploring other worlds. They don't expect their talents to actually be needed.

Herb chuckles and says with all dignity, fist-bumping Michael back, "I know now if the park ever has me turned into a squirrel I'm now prepared." There's a squint surveying the obstacle source to see what's to be expected. "You know I made this face and I have absolutely no strategy. Let's hope I deliver results like I can a quiche." It's to Asher that he adds brightly, "You missed it back in February when things crawled out of the ice and chased the all over. Oooh I think they thought the skater was the real Odette but they shaed off a whole bunch of people protecting her. Freezerburn everywhere."

"You were both supposed to be off for this trip," Michael points out to Asher good-naturedly. But then it's time to start and he makes his way over to the starting line with Herb and the others who are ready to go.

When the horn is blown and the competitors take off, it's very clear that there is going to be some very strong competition from the acrobats who do this sort of climbing and jumping around on things for a living. They are off like a shot.

Michael, on the other hand, slips early on and one leg goes through the rope net, tangling him up and sending him into a little panic of embarrassment early on. He does manage to get his leg out and gets back on track, but he has definitely found himself toward the rear of the pack at this point.

Asher laughs as Herb mentions the potential of being turned to a rodent. "If anyone's squirrely enough for that shift?" The courier has a strong chance of it. "But I'll trade you peanuts for petting. fluffy tail floof if it happens." The mention of February's missed adventures makes them shiver. They only missed it by a few weeks, but they admit, "Winter was awful. I love the park, but wish it was somewhere warmer. I am not meant for snow and ice ish."

When it's mentioned that they're supposed to be off for this, Asher tosses Michael a wink. "That's up to you all. If no one gets hurt, no one has to do any work about it." But no one with a medical background is just going to sit around resting if they see someone get hurt. The gun goes off, and so do most of the competitors. But as Michael gets tangled up right from the start Asher puts their phone down and opens their soda, taking a sip while watching the chaos begin.

Herb goes off running like he's putting the dash back in door dash! The webby net is hard to climb up. Wet shoes are not helping and neither was this being the second physical challenge of the day. The determined, skinny figure of Gregory Herbert struggles along with Michael and some others to get a good climb on the net.

"Oh my gooooood I just id the ropes course how I am I so bad at this? It's supposed to build up experience, not make it worse!" Which would sound like a complaint if he wasn't laughing through his struggles here. "Michael, new win condition. We finish with better hair than those that have a better time than us."

Michael groans at his poor opening performance, but he is determined and he struggles forward, making his way to the big rolling logs. He starts to close the distance between him and the competition gradually. The logs are tricksy and he definitely wobbles and bobbles his way across, but fortunately, so does everyone else ahead of him, allowing him to start to catch up.

Laughing back over his shoulder he tells Herb, "The last thing I'm thinking about right now is my hair.. I'm beginning to worry about my neck." And the potential of breaking it.

If this is a best hair competition, Asher's under-shaved shoulder-length waves that shift like an oil slick with every movement would win hands down, even if they aren't competing with the ropes. "Your neck is fine!" Asher calls it out to Michael, then tells both him and Herb, "But your backsides might need to kick into gear!"

Herb is struggling forward. When he gets to the logroll he falls, but hugs it with both arms and legs so he's not fallen off per se. "Ashur, I'd need a backside and also a gear. I'm currently in park!" The spirits are high at least but with some ingenuity he scooches along the log and climbs up the far side. "Well, we now know what it's like to be part of an ant colony. We can do this!"

Climbing up to the next platform seeing Michael ahead he chuckles, musing, "And some of us already have. I'm coming to save you Michael, and by save you I mean I may need help. Neck's looking great though," He puffs and huffs taking a small breather, "It's still attached. That's what counts."

"My backside is just fine, thanks," Michael shouts back, but they're getting to the point where they are too far to hear the audience anymore as the obstacles take them further up the hill toward the zipline in the distance.

The tire wriggle is much easier for all of the competitors, it seems, and they blow through that obstacle without too much problem. Clearly it's the going 'up' bits that are more of a struggle.

Michael crawls on through as fast as he can, but everyone else is doing well too, and so he doesn't close the gap, but he does at least keep up. Herb making him laugh isn't helping his performance, but it sure is entertaining.

"You can do it, buddy! I've got faith in you!"

Herb is flushed and looks winded- it's a great afternoon! He's smiling and not swearing at the lawn so it's already better than that one time, and isn't that just what camping is for? The tires suspended makes him ask "How tall do they th- Oh!" And there's Michael chest down to the earth and Herb dives in under the tires.

Not having a lot of muscle works well for him here scuttling at low altitude swiftly. Winded he mutters to no one in pearticular, "I have got to thank Pickle for running off with my shit. It's like a big coffee table. It's fine. They didn't even eat one of my ear buds. Weeee good..."

He escapes the other side with fists in the air and a little trot for a moment to get his wind back. Seeing the zip line and remembering it from the other thing this morning he exclaims, "Wooo I know this one!" being good at it is another story.

There is only the rope bridge left to cross in this course and that means navigating a narrow beam suspended by ropes as it leads from platform to platform up to the final zip line at the top. Whoever makes it to the platform first will win since it's one at a time down the zip line to the finish.

Michael puts in a valiant effort, tracing out which bridges to cross and which platforms to use to get through the maze of ropes and planks above the forest floor but he just isn't able to close the gap on some of his fellow security and circus members.

By the time he reaches the final platform, he is just not able to recover from that initial mishap at the beginning. Still, he's laughing, and the fun of doing the course is really the point. All he has to look forward to now is the zip zip zip down to the bottom, and as he waits his turn to follow those that beat him there, he turns back to watch Herb catch up. "C'mon! This is the fun part!" Not that the rest wasn't fun, mind.

Herb's face is lit up in a grin trying to get all limbs working in consort again. Hands to knees there's a deep breath then a shaking out of the arms. Herb grabs the T-bar and yells, "To the fun part! Last one down grew wings!" Which, while a jest, has happened out on thw island, though not to him.

Grabbing the bar he pushes off letting out a laugh, "I want to do deliveries like THIS! Wooooooooooo~!" He beams a smile to Michael and waits til feet hit the far platform, "Thank you for making sure I was not dead under the feebleness of my own hubris."

Michael takes the zip line back down to the bottom, whizzing through the trees and enjoying the cool of the breeze as he hurtles down the hill back to the final platform. He did not come in first. He did not even come in fourth, but at least he had a good time. And by the time Herb reaches the bottom, he holds up a hand in a high-five for his fellow course runner with a laugh. "We did it and we survived to live the tale. I'm going to count that as a win. C'mon, let's head back to camp. I'll buy you a drink." The drinks were already paid for, but that's neither here nor there.

Herb lands and takes the three step jog to stop and offer Michael a celebratory hug before turning triumphant to the watchers, "We did it!! Ashur and King don't have to clock in! We saved Second Labor Day!" He admits to Michael, "Not quite Christmas but I think we have to train more to save that."

Pleased, and with the adrenaline coming down he says soberly, "I would love to take up the drink offer. I'll get the app." There is the true compliment, "You run pretty well for the horse usually doing the walking. Very good show, sir." Michael gets credit. A couple of high fives are given to the other competitors. "And we did it all without the sparkle. Yas. Go us."

Oop, high-five circumvented for a hug, Michael laughs and gives Herb a hug in return, giving him a few pats on the back. "I'm sure they will be grateful for that."

He laughs at Herb's comment about the horse and says, "I am a lot faster when Cornbread's there to do the heavy lifting." He pauses, "Or when I can turn into the horse, myself. But that's alright. That was a good time." He then nods in the direction of camp and heads back in that direction to get drinks and take a little breather before the evening activities.