2025-01-16 - Butterflies

[TXT to Joshua] Theo: dude where are you and do you want company ?

[TXT to Theo] Joshua: I'm right behind you. Turn around!

[TXT to Theo] Joshua: lol j/k I'm at home reading. Whassup?

[TXT to Joshua] Theo: Can I come over? I thought I would show you my magic since you were asking about it the other night

[TXT to Theo] Joshua: Of course bro. You're always welcome here.

[TXT to Joshua] Theo: Okay give me a few. I'll be right there.

[TXT to Theo] Joshua: I'll turn the heat down now. lol

When Theo arrives, he's in a colorful long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of black Converse. He knocks on the door and then positions himself so Josh can see for himself that he's at the door.

Josh opens the door with a smile. "Hey, Theo, come in." He steps aside for Theo to enter. Josh's hair is pulled back and held in place with a hair clip. His fingernails are painted black. He's wearing a gray, form-fitting tank top, black running shorts, and bare feet.

"Do I want to see your magic?" he says playfully with a grin. "Is that line you use on all the boys."

Theo laughs when he hears that and he steps inside. "I mean....." Cheeks flushed. "No. Joshua!" Yes, Theo was embarrassed by that remark. "There has not been as you say is that line you use on all the boys. I guess in a way its also the same line of I bring all the boys in the yard. Or something like that." He doesn't know but he is trying. Bless him.

"Dealer's choice, empathy or illusion?" Moving further in and he goes to find a seat as he waits to see what Joshua will tell him.

Josh stops in the kitchen and opens the fridge. He pulls out a glass bottle of Coke. "You want a Coke? It's Mexican. Real sugar, none of that corn syrup crap." If Theo says he wants one, he'll grab a second and head into the living room with a bottle opener, otherwise he'll just grab one for himself.

Joshua sits down on the couch. "Well, I guess I want to see empathy the most, so let's start with illusion."

For all the times that Theo has been here, maybe now, he's feeling a bit more comfortable. As he settles on the couch, he does thank Joshua for the Coke when it is given to him. He will need it after this.

He must be feeling it tonight because his illusions will last for up to two hours. Those mood ring eyes change colors once again because Theo is working on his illusion. They will be small in nature.

It looks like he has pulled up a mermaid in pink, and there are waves about her as if she's sitting on a rock. "What do you think?"

Josh's lips are parted a little in surprise as he watches the mermaid in his living room. Then he turns his head to look at Theo as he smile spreads. "That's fire, my dude! Fucking fire! Can you make, like, anything you want?" Joshua looks back to the mermaid. "What happens if I try to touch it?"

"I can make anything I want just nothing to big yet. I am working on making things bigger. It will likely disappear on you. I think? It varies." He waits before he moves on and takes a sip of the coke while he is doing that.

"Is there something in general you would like to see me do? I can try and see if I can't make it for you."

He turns to look at Joshua fully and smiles at him as he shows his palm where the mermaid rests on once he is done drinking some of that coke down.

Josh likewise takes a sip of his Coke. He seems to genuinely reveling in this display of magic and enchantment. He reaches out and attempts to touch the mermaid illusion, curious to see what will happen to it.

"Well, a hot merman might be nice," he quips, eyes glittering playfully. His gaze meets Theo's directly for a moment and he reflexively grins and looks away, at the mermaid, at anything really.

When Joshua touches the mermaid, she still remains intact, but there are pink sparkles at the end of the touch to show it's not real. But the illusion is done well enough that it should wow the audience when Theo does it for one of his shows, likely.

Before he makes that merman, Theo reaches out for Joshua, and if there is no resistance, there's a trail of gold left behind as if it came from Theo's own gold lines. It did not.

He then effortlessly makes another illusion of that blue merman doing the same thing the pink mermaid was. If one counts the sparkles left on Josh, there are now three illusions surrounding them. Nothing too showy but enough that people, Josh, would be aware that magic is surrounding him.

Here's the thing: the pleased, relaxed, happy smile never leaves Josh's face. His eyes are so calm and at peace. He moves his hand gently and slowly through the golden sparkles with amazement. "This is better than getting high," he says.

Then comes the blue merman. "Okay, okay, so hot blue water boy is here." He reaches out to touch that. Our boy is very tactile apparently even though the illusions themselves can't be 'touched' per se. But the act of trying seems to be enough for him. "This is a bit like what that dude Robin was doing the other say, but way more vivid and realistic-looking.

"Yes, exactly," Theo murmurs as he watches Joshua play in the magic he has put between them.

With that distraction going on, Theo gets closer and smiles at him. Fingers to Joshua's chin and warns him in case Joshua wants out, "I'm gonna kiss you now." He then leans to give Josh a short but sweet kiss. The kind of kiss Theo would have imagined for himself if he had a do over. When the kiss breaks he presses his forehead against Joshua and whispers, "Hope it met your expectations."

It's only at the last moment that Josh realizes what's going on. "I thought..." But his words are cut off by the kiss, which he fully sinks into, sighing pleasantly out through his nose, closing his eyes, and gripping a handful of Theo's shirt. As the two sit there forehead-to-forehead, Josh keeps his eyes closed. He breathes in and out for a moment, his breath smelling like Coca-Cola. Then he sits up and opens his eyes. After almost 21 years, he has had his first kiss. And he is lucky enough that it was with someone he genuinely likes and feels safe with.

Joshua sits up straight again and opens his eyes. One side of his mouth goes up in a pleasant half-grin. "It was...I was...the..." The reading and writing nerd is at a loss for words. But the warm glow of his cheeks, the sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes, and the happy grin on his lips say all that needs to be said about what he thought of that kiss. Perhaps not realizing it, he's still gripping a handful of the front of Theo's shirt.

There was a peek from Theo when he did that subtle kiss as if he wanted to see Joshua's reaction and was trying to not get caught in the spying. Feeling the grab to his shirt he finds his hands wrap about Joshua's waist as if he was not certain where to put his hands and finally settled to there.

When Joshua opens his eyes Theo's own magical eyes are staring straight at him. Theo might look a little flushed from the interaction and informs Joshua, "You are the second boy I kissed." To him, that means a lot because he's been very careful with his interactions with others and kept others an arm's length away. Esme had gotten kisses to cheeks but not to lips. Josh got lips.

"Are you okay?" He whispers. Catching on that, Joshua seemed to like it, but he's trying not to assume.

Josh bites his lower lip and nods his head, eyebrows raised. "Yes, I'm very okay. I'm honored to be the second boy you kissed. It was...very nice." He looks down at his hand and realizes he's wrinkling Theo's shirt. He quickly releases it and uses his soft, warm palm to smooth out where he grabbed. "Sorry," he says breathlessly, still unable to shake the pleased grin. "I wrinkled your shirt a little."

He looks back up into Theo's magical, color-shifting eyes. "Are you okay? I know this was a big deal for you. Do you feel safe?"

Theo's lips upturn. There was no insult found in Joshua's words, even when he wrinkled Theo's shirt. His hand moves away from Joshua's waist to grasp Joshua's hand. He has a feeling that Joshua might be nervous about his actions.

"I am okay. I was holding onto hope and realized I couldn't do that forever, and I should move on. But I still ask for patience if that is okay with you?. Yes, I do not think you will harm me. I know I would never hurt you. That would not be my intention."

Josh gently wraps up both of Theo's hand in both of his. His palms and fingers are so warm and so soft...the hands of a poet. "Theo, I already told you that we can go as slow as zero if that's what you want. I don't say things to please people, I say things I mean. At whatever pace we are both comfortable, I surely would love to explore if anything more can be between us. But even we if stay friends, my life is better for having you in it. You don't talk about it -- and that's fine, I won't ever pressure you to -- but I can feel that you've been hurt. I want to be a source of safety in your life not a source of stress." He peers at Theo, hoping that his meaning is coming across.

Something with Josh's words hit the core of Theo's being and he's staring at the younger man. Quiet. Only his eyes showing his feelings and they have gone a deep blue as if they have been pooled into an ocean.

He then looks down at how his hand is wrapped by Josh's both as if to gain his composure and his voice is quiet. "I am afraid, Josh. This is all new to me and I don't like getting hurt. It feels like being punched in the gut or something."

A little chuckle. "I am also aware that is not the way to live and to live in shadows." Not that he could with all the brightness that surrounds him in his magic and what cosmetic changes have been done to him. "I get what you are saying, Joshua. Thank you. That means a lot."

"Alright," Josh says with a smile, releasing Theo's hands. He lifts his Coke bottle and says, with some light background laughter in his voice, "To getting punched in the gut." Josh takes a swig of the sugary beverage and sets the bottle down again.

Reaching up to touch Theo's cheek momentarily, Josh says quietly, "That kiss was one of my favorite things ever. Thank you." Then, perhaps sensing that things might be growing too serious, he suddenly grins. "It ranks right up there with the massage I got from Taylor Lautner...which totally happened...for purposes of this joke." Josh's brown eyes glitter playfully.

Like a kid at a playground, Josh happily tries to catch some of the golden sparkles still swirling in the air but it, or course, cannot happen. There are some things in life that you can have but you cannot keep.

Theo puts his hands back in his lap when they are released. He doesn't understand the toast that Joshua does but doesn't question it as he reaches for his own Coke to drink from.

Blinking up and looking back at Joshua when his hand is on Theo's cheek as he listens. "I am glad." An embarrassed laugh, "There is no need to thank me. I mean you are pretty. It wasn't a bad thing to kiss you. But as long as you know I am suffering from heartache we will be good." Theo is really good about masking and wearing a smile on his lips. He is being honest when he tells Josh that. The other man can take it any way he sees fit.

A roll of eyes when Taylor Lautner gets mentioned. "You must like werewolves then. Maybe you will turn into a wolf next. If you come out biting I'm gonna throw holy water or something at you." He doesn't know if that works on werewolves or just vampires but he says it anyway.

The golden sparkles play around Joshua when he attempts to catch their swirls, but it is like a chase, and he's just a little too late. Theo asks, "Is there something else you'd like to see? I think I am good for a little more."

"Do you want to talk about it? Your heartache?" Josh asks very softly. "I mean, we're friends. Friends support each other. I want you to feel free to talk about things with me. I won't be jealous. I accept that we're friends and I'm really happy to have you in my life."

He grins a goofy grin when Theo asks him if he wants to see anything else. "I dunno. I mean, after having my first kiss ever, illusions don't seem as exciting all of a sudden."

"I just do everything wrong and misinterpret signals. Friendship is the best part to be in when it comes to relationships is what I have gathered." There is a small smile on Theo's features. "Maybe when it doesn't feel so fresh I will consider it. I had been lying to myself this whole time and held onto false hope because of past actions. Trying to decipher through all of that. But people are messy. I get that. No matter how much I study them. A lesson is not learned until you get involved in it and see what happens and then deal with the consequences." This is probably why Theo did nothing in North Carolina. Relationships of any kind are hard for him because of his fear of trying anything new. On top of that his curiosity. That combo has gotten him into trouble many a time. "Thank you for listening anyway."

Another flush when Joshua gives him that goofy grin. "Really? That is gonna have an impact on you, huh?" That seems to surprise Theo when Josh tells him that.

"I definitely know what it's like to feel a certain kind of way about someone and they don't feel the same way back," Josh says in a gentle voice. "I was just talking about this with someone, the sad math of love. Most people that we, you know, like aren't going to like us back." Josh smirks slightly. "Honestly, it's a wonder people ever manage to get together at all. I guess that's what booze is for."

Josh tips his head a bit, peering at his friend. He pushes his hair aside absently. "This boy you like...I'm assuming it's a boy...is he from here? On the islands?"

A laugh when Joshua mentions booze. "Booze gets you into trouble. So much trouble." Shaking his head and swallowing at some memory he's not willing to share at the moment.

"Yes, it is a boy. Yes, he is here on the islands. He told me I don't give him butterflies, and he is not attracted to me like that. Felt like a slap to the face." A shrug.

"I think I am in agreement with your sad math of love. When it is unequal, it is painful." A squint as if he's taking a moment or two to process what Josh just told him. "How do you know that a person wouldn't like you? Isn't that where time should be involved in the equation?"

With a small laugh Josh shakes his head. "You're asking me? I'm almost 21 and I just had my first-ever kiss. A love doctor I am not." He takes another big swig from the Coke bottle. "I mean, at least he was honest with you, right? It's better than stringing you along. That's not going to make you feel any better, I know. But it helped me when you were honest with me about your feelings."

Drawing in a long, slow breath, Josh contemplates. "I've never, to my knowledge, ever had someone like me like that. So I guess I don't know how you can tell. I suppose we're all just stumbling around in the dark in that regard. It's a fucking mystery to me."

"I felt strung along. That was the problem. But I guess people just do things differently, and not everyone is going to be the same in their actions." Theo is a people watcher, and then he stepped in and acted on something just to fail in it.

A sidelong glance to Joshua when he says that last bit. "Do you know why I said that to you? I'll try to explain. I don't ever want you to feel like you are a replacement or a rebound, even if it was unrequited love for me. You only have been here what a month?"

He peers back at Joshua with those multi-color eyes of his. "I am trying to be cautious here. It isn't that I haven't thought about exploring it, but I guess I have caution and boundaries. Because I am thinking of you and your well-being. That is why I was hesitant to kiss you. But I wanted your first kiss to be a good one and not something of regret."

Josh sits motionlessly as he remains locked on Theo's words. He has that sort of way of listening to people with complete focus. "Maybe it isn't magic, y'know?" Josh says in a soft, gentle voice. "Maybe here everyone is so used to shit being magical. Maybe love is something you make, you know? Maybe it takes two people who want to work together to build it up. Maybe it's not a stroke of lightning but a process. I know that probably doesn't sell tickets to romance films, but maybe in real life it's just how it works."

Joshua reaches out and gives Theo's shoulder a light, playful shove. "And my first kiss was not something of regret. It's was a beautiful moment and someday in the far future when I'm on my death bed, I'm gonna remember it and smile."

It is now Theo's turn to listen to Joshua as he talks about his version of love-like-infatutation-all the above. "Make? For me, it was time. Time spent with a person. I agree with you. It is a process and not something instant. I don't know if I believe in love at first sight. I think that is just hormones, and you just want to bed the person." He's not trying to be harsh in his words but trying to explain where his mindset is. "Okay, Joshua. If you say so." There is a small smile for the other person's words. "With all the writing you do, is that how you came to that conclusion?" Giving him a questioning look.

As Joshua touches his shoulder, it does move under the light shove. "Okay. Good. You are not allowed to die any time soon. You'll live to be a hundred." Someone must not like death.

Josh's eyes open wide for a moment, glittering, as he broadens his grin. "How did I come to that conclusion? A wild-ass fucking guess. I know as much about love and romance as I do about astrophysics of the sun, which is to say not a damned thing. There should be a magic power for that, where you become an expert on matters of the heart. Like from Eros or Cupid or something."

"Say what now? Live to be a hundred?" he says. "Oh hell no, I don't want to be some hundred-year-old dude hobbling around. I'm gonna end up as the guy in the 40 Year Old Virgin, and then I'm gonna get mauled to death by a lion when I'm 50."

A laugh when Theo listens to Joshua that time. "Yeah, no kidding. Both topics are confusing at best. I guess you just learn as you go along or something." A shrug. He's no expert on either subject himself.

"I have never seen the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin. You are too pretty for one. Second, you are likable. You just need to believe in yourself, and others will see it. I see it." A small smile is seen when he says that.

"Gah, already have your death planned out? At least it won't end like Romeo and Juliet, huh?"

Josh laughs, shaking his head. "No Romeo and Juliet for me. I'm gay as fuck. Maybe Romeo and Julian or something like that?" He peers upward, rubbing his chin. "Hmmmm, well Romeo did sort of get an easy death in that play. Poison doesn't seem all that bad. But poor Juliet. Stabbing yourself with a knife seems like a really horrible way to go."

Cocking his head to one side, Josh says, "Did you know that there are scholars -- like serious literary scholars -- who don't believe that Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet?"

"I thought you mentioned girls at one time or another." There's a squint that comes from Theo when he says that. His hand comes out to shake Joshua's hand in jest, "Hello, gay as fuck. So am I. But I hope I don't end up like Julian." Laughing when he says that and looks a bit more relaxed. "I don't even know if I know how to use a knife, let alone stab myself or a person with it."

Letting Joshua's hand go after that shake. In getting that extra information about what scholars think of the original story of Romeo and Juliet, Theo looks surprised. "Really? If not him, who do they think wrote the damn story?"

"Well it's not just Romeo and Juliet, it's actually a lot of his plays," Josh picks up the topic with excitement. He's a book nerd and he gets to talk about his passion! "The conspiracy theory is that because Shakespeare was a commoner that he wouldn't have some of the in-depth knowledge of society found in his plays to have actually written them. Some say a nobleman, the Earl of Oxford, actually wrote most of Shakespeare's work, which would have been considered too controversial for a member of high society to publish."

He suddenly realizes what he's doing and shuts his mouth, looking downward. "Sorry," he murmurs as an embarrassed grin spreads on his face. "I can really nerd out some...sometimes."

Theo doesn't mind that Joshua is nerding out on him. He likes it.

When Joshua turns his face downward he takes a moment to put his hand on Joshua's chin in a cupping fashion. "Hey." He says quietly as he tries to meet Joshua's eyes with his own. "I like you feeling comfortable enough to nerd around me. Don't hide that from me, okay?"

He will lean in again for another soft kiss and says after the kiss breaks. "It is kind of cute and it gives me a picture of who you are. It is a good thing, promise."

The looks of surprise -- pleasant surprise -- on Josh's face upon the second kiss is practically palpable in the very air. He stares at Theo silently for several beats. "Theo...are we..." He looks down, not able to meet Theo's gaze suddenly. "You kissing me is one of the best things to ever happen to me. But if you want us to, y'know, just be friends then maybe we should cool it on the kissing. Cuz it, um..." He touches the coffee table with one fingertip and rotates that fingertip back and forth nervously. "...it makes me feel a certain kind of way."

He swallows heavily and looks back up at Theo.

Theo gives Joshua some space when he goes silent on him as he watches the reaction from the second kiss that is given. "Josh.." He finally says when Joshua looks down once again. "I think I would like to try this more than friends thing. I like kissing you....." His voice is quiet and there may be some awkwardness heard in it as he's not quite sure what he is stepping into he did warn Joshua he'd be slow in all of this but he figured kissing was okay. It isn't as if they are sleeping together.

"I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. I don't want to put you in that space." Theo is trying to look at Joshua when he doesn't make eye contact, and how he messes with his fingertip on the coffee table, but then there is Joshua looking right back at him. "I won't use my magic on you unless you want me to, but I would rather hear what it makes you feel?" If allowed, he will grasp for Joshua's hands in case that makes things easier. His touch is warm and comforting.

When Theo says he wants to give the more than friends thing a try, one small tear runs down Josh cheek. "I like kissing you, too," he says so softly that it's barely audible. "Please don't stop doing it."

At the mention of Theo's magic, Josh puts both of his hands into Theo's and squeezes. "You can use your magic if you want," he says. "I trust you." With a heavy swallow, Josh looks into Theo's eyes again. "Tell me what I have to do. I don't really understand all this stuff."

"You are doing just fine," Theo assures Joshua when he asks how to trigger Theo's magic. Joshua would be able to tell because when Theo does his magic, both empathy and illusions, his eyes turn to gold as if going inwards, where Joshua would see the gold lines on him.

Theo must be a little tired from doing magic earlier with illusions. He has superior empathy skills, but it won't last long. "I think there is an emotional connection between us. I just don't know the specifics." He smiles at Joshua as he unlinks one hand to use his thumb to trace the tear that falls down Josh's cheek. "I am not going to hurt you to the best of my ability." Giving the other as much assurance as he can.

"When my magic is working, I can calm a person or inflict fear. I do not need to inflict fear on you. I have only used it once when I was fighting in the tunnels."

His hand comes back down to hold Josh's free hand. "But I would like it if you shared with me how you are feeling right now. Do I give you butterflies?" That word, in particular, must have a special meaning to Theo, hence the ask.

Letting his eyes sink shut, Josh leans forward and rests his forehead on Theo's. "Don't you know?" he whispers. Josh opens his mind and heart completely to Theo's magic, offering no resistance. Total trust. Total access.

Have you ever seen yourself through the eyes of someone who truly, genuine likes you, no pretense, no bullshit, no fear, no deception? Because that's how Josh sees Theo, and he tries to send that to Theo. He tries to send the fact when Josh looks at Theo, he gets this feeling in his chest like you get when you're leaning back in your chair and lose your balance and almost fall. It's like that for him All. The. Time.

"Yes," he replies, whispering still. "Butterflies."

Theo is quiet as he lets his magic weave into Joshua and he catches some of the notes that are freed. Feeling the rest of Joshua's forehead against his and the whisper that Joshua is using when Theo asks for more clarification. It surprises Theo when he can feel the trust and no resistance from Joshua. He is not used to this. Usually, there's been a fight when he has opened himself up to others. But here it is like a gentle spirit that has come to reside with Theo's feeling magic.

Biting his lower lip when Joshua confirms what it is he feels. Theo puts his hand to where Joshua's heart lays. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I promise not to take advantage of that feeling and not take advantage of your heart. We can stumble in this together." Voice quiet when he makes this admittance. "I would like that very much."

Josh wraps his arms around Theo and pulls the two of them closer together for a hug. He just sits there, hugging Theo silently, tightly.

Finally, after some unknown time, he sits up and opens his moist eyes and dares a little smile. "I never thought I deserved this, you know? I mean you try and think maybe I just have bad luck or whatever. Then a month goes by then a year then three or four years, and you see all the people you know coupling up and seeming so happy. And you start to think maybe you're, y'know, born to be alone.

As Theo is wrapped in Joshua's arms, he pulls his arms out so that his hands rest on Joshua's back as he takes in the embrace, feeling the tightness of it.

He is patient and waits for Joshua to find his words. "See? Told you that you were not gonna be like that movie." Giving off a small laugh. "I mean....." He laughs again. It is nerves. "You are not alone, Josh. I am right here. Just bear with me. This is new to me, too."

Josh gives Theo a gentle, affectionate head butt. "Unlike me who is an old hat at this. You're just one of my bitches now." Something about his joke just tickles Josh and he breaks into an unmitigated, genuine, musical laughter. It's the first carefree moment he's had in a good minute.

He runs his hand back through Theo's hair. "Theo," he murmurs, his face getting closer to Theo's. "There's something I need to ask you. It's really important." He leans in even a little bit more. "Are you...are you..." He swallows heavily, dramatically. "...gonna finish your Coke?"

Theo is not used to the affection or the humor. He is surprised again when he is head-butted and by Josh's words. "One of your bitches now? I better be number one." He says back.

Closing his eyes when Josh takes a moment to run that hand through his hair. Likely making it look more bedhead as a result. His colorful eyes open when he feels the lean of Joshua as he gets close. Grinning, he can't reach for the Coke and says in that lean, "You can finish it if you want. I think I had my fill."

Josh interlaces his fingers of one hand with the fingers of one of Theo's hands. He leans back against the couch, looking so relaxed and comfortable like some weight has been lifted from him. And with his other hand he picks up Theo's Coke, which is sitting on the coffee table next to Josh's empty bottle. He tips back a big sip.

"I'm moving," he announces. "You know your friend, Huck? He asked me to be roommates with him and some other dude I haven't met yet. I guess he has like ox horns or something, Huck was saying." Josh shakes his head with a laugh. "The things we accept as normal around here, right?"

There is a squeeze when Joshua interlaces their fingers together. Theo is going to be slow in the uptake, but he doesn't resist the touch.

"Kissing me was thirsty work?" He looks over at Joshua from where he is sitting next to him.

At the talk of moving, Theo wears that surprised expression. Maybe Theo should keep that expression when he is around Josh because he's been doing it a lot.

"Oh yeah, good for you both. I think I know who you are talking about. If I remember correctly, Jett is using some of the space that the guy has to do his work in. There's another one running around here with horns. His name is DJ Escape. Never did get his other name, as I happened to be at the club one night."

"Yeah, we sort of have to." His free hand goes and pokes Joshua in the chest. "Just like people, the islands have surprises too."

Josh leans sideways against Theo, still holding one of his hands. "It's just going to be nice not to come home to an empty apartment all the time. My mom sends me money, so the extra cost isn't a problem. But she said maybe I should try to find roommates or something so I'm not alone so much. And I like Huck. He's a bit full of himself, but so what? He's a nice guy. Hopefully this dude with the ox horns is dope. I'm gonna meet him before I make the final decision." Josh rolls his eyes. "Huck says he's hot. So I guess that's part of his screening process or something." Shrugs. "Beats me why he picked me then."

"The not-empty apartment helps. I know when Jett is home because I can hear his music. He likes to play it loud when he doesn't have his earbuds on. But sometimes we are hit and miss, and I have some time to myself. That is nice, too. But it is also nice to know there is another person just across the hall from you. Both Jett and I discovered our changes at the same time. That was a bit trippy. But glad if I was going to make a discovery like that, it was with him. He's one of my best friends."

Chuckling when Joshua gives his opinion about Huck. "Because he likes to use the word awesome often? I think it is because he has a lot of confidence in himself. There is nothing wrong in that."

He pauses for a moment to consider the people he has met since coming here. "I don't think there is anyone here on the islands that I do not like. I mean, interactions are all different, but no one that I would outright avoid. So your potential roommate should be fine."

Another poke with that free hand. "Stop that. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You have this baby face that others will die for when you get older. Mark my words."

Josh exhales sharply upwards, blowing his hair out of his face. "I hate my baby face. I wish I could grow a beard." He squeezes his eyes shut and clenches both fists and grunts like he's trying to push a beard out his face. He finishes and opens his eyes, looking at Theo. "Did that work? Anything?" He rubs a hand over his baby-bottom-smooth face.

"My dad is Russian and he's hairy as fuck," Josh says. "I just assumed I'd be a hairball by now." He shrugs. "Maybe it skips a generation." He tugs his gray tank top up just far enough to expose his tummy. "I don't even have a happy trail," he says, looking down, rubbing his fingers near his belly button. A shrug. He lets go of his shirt so it falls back into place and grins up at Theo.

"You told me you turned into a bear. Even if you can't force it right now." Theo says back to him. "No, no bear or beard on you. You are just destined to be hairless." This amuses him, and he laughs about it. "Maybe it skipped a generation. That is okay if we don't look like our parents." It takes Theo a minute to realize that he and Joshua said the same thing at almost the same time, and it has Theo shaking his head for it.

Multi-colored eyes go looking when Joshua shows off his tummy, and he even lowers his features to take a second look. "Nope, no trail. Nada. Maybe you should invest in a wig or something and glue it on you." Who's the one making jokes now? Theo looks up at Josh and winks. "I think you are fine just the way you are. Maybe you are just a late bloomer or something."

With a pleased grin, Josh rolls over and climbs on Theo's lap, he knees straddling either side of Theo's hips. "Hi," he says, now facing Theo. He rests his hand on Theo's chest gently. "You say such nice things about me. You have a big heart, and whoever it was you had your eye lost out big time." Josh traces a fingertip along the mystical lines that travel up Theo's neck and face. "My god you're so beautiful. Your skin is literally magical."

He slowly leans in and kisses Theo's forehead so lightly. "Thank you."

Theo's eyes widen when Joshua climbs on Theo's lap, and he's laughing quietly. "For someone that has not done this before, you are like a frisky puppy. Maybe you will change into one eventually. My friend Danny does."

Shifting a little to balance Joshua's weight on his lap. Cheeks flushed when Joshua says that Hi He will look at Joshua even if Joshua has his hand on his chest. Theo is listening.

"See? And you say nice things to me." Closing his eyes when Josh does that tracing. He is keeping his eyes closed when there is a kiss on Theo's forehead. "You think I'm beautiful? Josh, you have done nothing but surprise me tonight."

Swallowing as he opens his eyes and smiles. "No need to thank me if I am speaking the truth."

"Well, what I'm saying it also true," Josh counters. "I mean look at you, you're literally magical. Your skin. Your eyes." He tips his head inquisitively to the side, which, as usual, causes his disobedient hair to slide in front of his eyes. With a sigh, he bats it aside. "What does it feel like? I mean, does it feel like regular skin or can you feel the lines and, I dunno, the energy?" He lifts one of Theo's hand and uses a fingertip to trace the patterns there. "I wonder what it means. Wouldn't it be amazing if it's, like, an alien language and they wrote poetry on you?" He gasps a little at the thought. "I wish I could read it. I bet it says something amazing."

"I have looked at myself." Theo laughs when Joshua says that. "When I woke up on New Year's Day, Jett tried to shove his phone in my face so I could see what I looked like. Then I ran to the bathroom to see for myself." Grinning.

When Josh's hair gets in the way, it is Theo who moves a hand to help brush them back. "I use headbands sometimes when my hair doesn't want to behave."

He puts his hand down and in the direction of Joshua if he wants to examine his skin. "It just feels like skin. I don't know what it means. Maybe it just means to let people know what kind of magic I do? You are the language expert here. You tell me." Laughing again. "I have accepted that this is a part of me whether or not I like it and I just try to take it in stride."

There is this...new vibe to Josh now. He seems so amazingly relaxed, sitting here straddling Theo's lap, so sedate and calm and at peace. Like he just, you know, doesn't need anything more. "You must have been freaked out. I would have been. I'm glad you had a friend with you. That wouldn't be a nice thing to face alone."

Josh smiles when Theo pushes his hair aside for him. He has most of his hair held back with a plastic hair clip but some of it managed to make a getaway. He reaches back with both hands and removes the clip, then pulls as much of his hair back as he can and re-clips it in place. "There."

You can always tell when Josh is about to ask a question because he does that head-tip thing. But now with his hair clipped back again, this time nothing obscures his vision. "You talk about Jett a lot. You must really like him." He hesitates, licking dry lips. "Is he...you know...the one you were interested in?" He isn't asking with kind of jealousy or disappointment. It just literally sounds like he is curious about Theo's life and wants to ask All the Questions.

"Yeah, it helped that we were there together to help each other out." Theo agrees when Joshua mentions there being a friend to go through that first experience with.

"I had forgotten you were wearing a clip." He admits as he watches Josh tame his hair a bit more. Theo studies Josh as he gets to know the different moves he does, such as the one when he's about to ask something. This time, it is Theo who ducks his head at the question. Looking at his hands now. Anywhere but Joshua.

"I do like him. He was my first friend when I came here. We met at the potential hire picnic. I think that is where we decided to be roommates, and as they say, the rest is history...." His voice trails off when he says that. Oh, look, those lines on Theo's hands are very interesting, and he is studying those lines as if they hold the answers that Josh seeks, or it gives Theo a moment to find his words.

"Yeah."

He finally says. "It took me a long time to realize that he was not interested in me. I had thought there was more, but I was only fooling myself."

He looks up at Joshua now. He does hear the not jealousy or the not disappointment. "That is why I don't want to rush things. I am banking on the fact that in the end, regardless of what happens, you and I will be friends. I think friendship is the best relationship to be in." This is something he said earlier to Joshua and the reason why he tries to put brakes on when he feels overwhelmed as he figures out where his boundaries are. "Like I said, this is new to me, and I'll need patience."

Josh is quiet and motionless, recognizing that this is tough stuff for Theo to talk about. He gives Theo all the time he needs and none of the judgement that he does not need.

Finally: "You have it, my patience. This goes as slow and low key as you need it to. I deadass would not try to push you where you didn't want to go."

He clears his throat. "I had a friend growing up. Nick. We weren't like, you know, super besties. But we hung out a lot. Sometimes had sleepovers or whatever stuff that kids do. I think I was, I dunno, maybe about 12 when it started to occur to me that I didn't feel the same way about girls and boys that my friends did. And I remember like it was yesterday when my dumb ass tried to kiss Nick. THAT did not go well. He shoved me down and ran off and we never talked again. Well anyway, you know how kids are. He told everyone, and before I even got to middle school I was an outcast." He shrugs it off a bit. "My parents put me in a private high school when I was old enough, and that helped, the fresh start."

"Anyway, I know it's not the same thing and I'm not trying to minimize the way you feel about Jett and reduce it down to the same thing a dumb 12-year-old did once. But I guess it gives me at least a little bit of context to understand what it's like to feel a certain kind of way about someone and they don't feel that back."

A flush comes to Josh's cheeks and an embarrassed, reflexive smile to his lips. He quickly shakes his head. "I'm sorry, that sounded stupid. Forget I said it."

"Thank you, Joshua. I appreciate it." Theo does as he looks back finally, cheeks pink, and his eyes show a hint of pink when he talks about Jett. He still has feelings for his roommate. But he is trying in his best efforts to get past that and focus on the friendship the two still have.

A hand comes to hold Joshua's hand when he takes a moment of what happened in his past. "That's why I never acted on things until here because I just stayed on the outskirts of things. I am sorry you had that experience. That must have been difficult."

A sad smile shows up, "I mean, there are so many love songs out there about unrequited love. Why would I be anything special and avoid it even when I tried to when I was younger?" His laugh has a harsh tinge to it.

"Hey, no, I am glad you shared that with me. I know that had to have been hard to share. I still accept you, Joshua."

Josh sticks his tongue out at Theo and crosses his eyes, probably to break the tension. Then he just smiles. "So we're both broken. I'm down with that. All my favorite toys were broken when I was a kid, because they were the best ones, the ones I played with nonstop. It's the pristine ones still in the package that I have no use for. All perfect and no fun."

He looks downward with sudden realization. "Am I...am I hurting your legs? Should I move?"

Theo laughs when Joshua sticks his tongue out at him and looks at him cross-eyed. "Man, if we were perfect?" He shakes his head. "Yeah, I am pretty broken. Just trying to survive and all."

He squints at Joshua, "So I am a favorite toy? Is that what you are calling me?" He is teasing the younger man by mere months. At the mention of his legs, he laughs, "As much as I like you sitting on my lap I think the lower part of me has fallen asleep so probably best?"

Josh laughs and climbs off Theo's lap. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that." He pats his thin tummy. "My fat ass was prolly crushing those legs." With some antsy fidgeting, Josh readjusts himself on the couch. He rests one arm across the back of the cushions. But maybe it looks too much like he's being forward putting his arm behind Theo, so he self-consciously pulls it back and fidgets around some more. One bare foot ends up on the edge of the coffee table, but with the shorts he's wearing it threatens a show, so he quickly takes it down. That leaves him yet again squirming his butt around, trying to get a position of comfort. Who knew getting off someone's lap was such an ordeal.

He smiles self-consciously and, as if trying to find something to do with this sudden burst of nervous energy, Josh takes off the hair clip, re-pulls his hair back behind his head, and re-attaches the clip. "No, I'm not calling you a favorite toy. I already told you you're one of my bitches now." He blurts out a laugh and bends all the way forward so his face is against his own knees. "Oh my god," his muffled voice can be heard. "Why am I like thiiiiiiiis?"

"Oh stop it...." Theo's North Carolina drawl comes out when Joshua comments about his fat ass. Theo stays on his side of the couch and watches how Joshua just moves with that nervous energy. He is amused by it and just waits it out as he shakes his legs to get feeling back in them.

"Joshua."

He drawls again. "Relax. Honestly. If there is something I do not like I will let you know. Just be yourself. Promise. As long as we have open communication everything else will be okay. And if not? We will still talk it out. That is important to me. I don't want any miscommunication between us."

He then proceeds to wrap an arm around Josh so he has to sort of cuddle against him. "Its me Theo. You don't have to impress me. I've already kissed you twice." He laughs.

"Tell me where your accent is from," Josh suggests as he nestles into the arm around him, leaning against Theo. "It's so fucking fire."

Josh starts fidgeting with the fingers of one hand with his other hand, further bringing on the nervous energy vibe. "I know, I know. I'm just all of a sudden super self-conscious. My pattern is I get something good in my life and then I deadass mess it all up. But okay, you're right. I'll just be transparent with how I'm feeling. Like right now, I'm super nervous for some reason. The anxiety is really building."

While he's explaining all this, one of his knees bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounces anxiously propelled by an equally anxious foot bounding on the floor.

"North Carolina," Theo answers easily enough. "I'm from North Carolina. About a twelve-hour drive to here. That's how I discovered this place. I was road-tripping."

His other hand comes out to try and still Joshua's knee as he still exerts nervous energy. "Hey, Josh, you are okay. I won't think anything less of you. Relax." He speaks in a soft tone as if that might help Joshua. "Let's take it one day at a time. For example, tonight was good, right? You got to see some fun magic, and you got your first kiss...." He grins when he says that. "We both like each other, and we are going to see where it goes, and you told me you will be patient. If it goes poorly, we know we have a friendship to fall on. See? Not terrible."

"North Carolina," Josh repeats. "I've never been. But the accent really, um, makes me a feel a certain kind of way."

The young man stills his knee when Theo puts his hand on it. "Yeah but that's the shitty thing about an anxiety disorder. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't trigger like a healthy brain would trigger. It sneaks in like a monster and attacks with no rhyme or reason." He stands up off the couch. As he does his hair clip catches on the cushion and goes flying, and the sudden click gives him a start. "Aaaaaaah," he exclaims as he starts to pace. "This is not on you, Theo. You didn't do anything wrong. This is all me right now." The, well, pace of his pacing increases. Back and forth across the carpet.

He stops and puts his hands on his knees and leans forward. "Wooooo. Wow, this is a biggie," he says, trying to force a smile on his face. "I'm so sorry about this, man."

"A certain way? You find it attractive?" Theo asks in clarification.

"I understand and that is why you get high to give yourself a chill. Do you want to see if my magic will help you or do you need to get a gummi?" He remembered when he had taken the other half of Josh's gummi when they went to go get donuts. "Don't apologize."

He moves off the couch and kneels in front of Joshua as he puts a hand to the other's shoulder. "Breathe. I won't ditch you."

If Theo wasn't here and this kind of thing came on like a crashing wave, Josh would probably smoke a lil. But he doesn't want to seem like some sort of junkie in front of Theo. So instead he sits on the ground with his back to Theo, leaning back against him. "Maybe we can try your magic? It was really calming earlier."

This guy who runs 5-10 miles a day, every day, with a runner's lung capacity is heaving each breath in and out like he's suffocating. He closes his eyes and rests his head back against Theo. "Yeah, can we...can we try your magic? It's incredible the things you can do."

When Josh puts his back against Theo, he puts his hands on the other's shoulders as if to calm him. But he is bracing himself as he calls his magic. To him his magic is within and that is why he has gold lines that run about his body.

"Okay, Josh, relax. I got you. I won't let anything happen to you. You could even close your eyes if you want to." His voice still holding that calming quality in it.

Soon after, Josh should be able to feel a sense of calmness surround him such as a heavy blanket would feel. A whisper, "Feeling any better?"

Josh closes his eyes as Theo's magic falls over him. "Oh, Theo, how...it's so beautiful. I've never seen anything like it. It's like a million stars swirling to infinity." What is this kid seeing with his eyes closed? Eyes still shut, he reaches out one hand like he's trying to touch something. His breathing rate slows. His body warms up, almost like a little mini fever. A slow smile comes over his lips. "How does something like that even exist?" His eyes are still closed, and he still seems to be seeing some unseeable, unknown sight.

Then he just exhales a long, slow sigh. His extended arm sinks down and his breathing becomes soft and regular and even. Is he asleep?

"Hey." Theo laughs quietly when he takes notice that Joshua has fallen asleep, maybe. "Hey, lets get you to bed, yeah? Because if you stay in this position against me my butt is gonna go numb." He teases. "I'll even tuck you in."

"Yeah," Josh agrees. He stands up off the ground, now so much more calm. He even offers a hand to pull Theo up if he wants. Once Theo is on his feet, Josh takes a step closer. Twice tonight Theo has kissed him. Now he wants to take the initiative. Unless Theo gives indication that this is no bueno, Josh presses his mouth to Theo's. It's a simple, chaste, affectionate kiss. He goes into the bedroom. He's only wearing a tank top and shorts, so he just slides under the covers as-is.

He peers up at Theo with hooded, grateful eyes. He's so relaxed now. And that's entirely thanks to Theo's soothing magic.

Theo takes the hand that is offered to him so he can pull himself up and off the floor. Grinning when Josh comes close and he takes the turn to kiss Theo.

True to his word, Theo is a gentleman and walks Joshua to his room. Leaning against the doorway when Joshua crawls in bed. "Good night, Joshua. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

He turns to head to the front door and closes it behind him. Looking pleased. Theo does like helping people when he can so that is of a high in of itself that he was able to help Josh relax and find sleep.